Auto Tweet Review for 2012-02-05

• Del Taco is the short bus of mexican restaurants. #
• My toenails get long in the winter when I'm not wearing flip flops regularly and/or there aren't women to judge me. #
• Hey Randy, what're you up to? I've got a body to dispose of if you're not doing anything later. #
• Beer. Book. Bathtub. Baroque.

  I believe this is how the most methodic of serial killers grow to reach their full potential. #

• If you're happy and you know, your browser history will surely show it. #
• You call it pants, I call it oppression. #
• There's no time like the present.

  For beer. #

• Overheard: "How can I be a home wrecker if he ain't even taken me to his home?" #
• All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, better run if they play this song one more effing time. #
• I'm drinking coffee and waiting for my feelings about you to change. #
• Seeing the scars from your boob job is like seeing the strings in a low-budget film. #
• I can't think of a good reason why I should be wearing pants right now. #
• There's going to be six more weeks of seasonal affective disorder. #
• If you tickle my groundhog, I'll give you an early spring. #
• It's always a good idea to clear your browser history before heading out into the city. Just in case. #
• Love squirts. #
• When I die I want to donate my body to a lonely woman who is into some weird shit. #
• Breaking into a casket is harder than I thought it would be. #
• Most of you assholes need to smile more. #
• It takes a few years, but the highway to the danger zone actually leads directly to pooh corner. #
• I'm exhausted from all of the P90Sex I've been doing lately. #
• If I were a robot, this is what I'd be… http://t.co/kiKIktvp #
• I do laundry when I run out of underwear. Mostly. #
• Because I was bored. That's why. http://t.co/sJpkV468 #
• When in need, smoke some weed. #
• I've prescribed myself 16 oz's of coffee daily, as needed for general malaise. #

Add comment February 5th, 2012